Never trust the Swedes.

So this post is the SPT for October 15th, even though they were actually taken on the 17th and 18th, and the post prior to this is the picture from yesterday that was actually taken today because it was a much more pleasant day for picture-taking. For real.

Once upon a time, three lovely maidens set out from the sleepy hamlet of Bushwick in search of the mythical relics rumored to lay in the far off Temple of IKEA. They bundled up against the cold, mounted their trusty steed, Subaru, and enlisted the help of a local guide who called himself Garmin. They traveled on and on and on, twisting and turning through the trails of the Lyn of Brook, stopping only for provisions of bagels and extra sweaters. Finally, thanks to Garmin's expertise, they arrived at the fabled place.

But much to their surprise, thousands upon thousands of other brave adventurers had made the very same pilgrimage! The three maidens refused to believe they had come this far for nothing. Determined not to depart empty-handed, they marched forth into the relentless waves of people entering the temple in search of relics of their own.

As they trekked through the upper levels of the magical IKEA, the energy of discovery and delight was palpable. The maidens beheld strange and glorious wonders of home furnishing the likes of which they had never before dared dream. They wandered from one cavernous chamber to the next, in awe of the sights and sounds laid out resplendently before them. The maidens yearned to collect every single relic IKEA held, but they knew it would be unfair to overburden poor, aging Subaru. They had to make some choices.

At that moment, the wonderland of delights transformed into a hellish pit of fire and brimstone stacked from floor to hundred-foot-ceiling. Suddenly, all their happy co-pilgrims became vicious competitors, each vying for the blessing of a temple priest so they could cart off their chosen relics. The maidens stood faithfully at no less than three different altars as they waited their turn to collect their beautiful relics.

And lo, the maidens were rewarded for their patience and persistence. Having used their cunning to navigate the secret shortcuts through the temple, and their disproportionate strength to lift their own relics onto their carts, they proved themselves superior to all the obstacles the great Temple of IKEA had thrown at them.

After saddling Subaru up with their prizes, and directing Garmin to bring them back safe and sound to Bushwick, the maidens enjoyed a peaceful ride all the way home.

And they lived happily ever after, until they realized they had to transport their relics up to the highest tower of their castle all by themselves!

And then they realized that the relics had to be assembled before their magical powers could be utilized. There were a lot of pieces for the maidens to sort through!

The maidens quickly worked out how to fit the strange-looking components together into something that vaguely resembled the floor model at the temple.

But their most magnificent relic, an item that would provide amazing moving pictures and yards and yards of parchment filled with wise and wonderfully enlightening words, was not to be so easily had. A demon had slipped through the temple priests' defenses and broken a vital piece of the relic! Without it, the maidens realized, the relic would never come to life as they had hoped. Forlorn, they gave up for the night and vowed to begin anew on another relic the next day.

Reinvigorated the following morning, the maidens set upon their second-favorite relic, an enchanted wardrobe that would keep all their garments in tip-top shape as soon as they put them inside of it.

As with the first relic, construction proceeded swimmingly - but only for a short while. When the time came to place the special shelf that would keep their handbags and miscellaneous medium-sized fashion accessories organized, the maidens realized that yet another demon had ingratiated itself into the very particle board of their beloved relic. The shelf simply would not follow the laws of geometry as the priests' holy instructions declared that they would.

But the maidens were fierce and tenacious. Defeated once already by the demons plaguing the temple IKEA, they wrestled with the evil one until at long last, they had forced the demon out and the shelf in. Proud of their hard work, they were at last able to pour themselves a well-deserved glass of enchanted grape juice and admire their precious relics.

Will the maidens ever return to the great temple? Will the demon yet plaguing them ever depart? WAS IT ALL WORTH IT?

The world may never know.